Sod The EU Referendum - Let's Become The 51st State!

I've seen a lot of negative headlines here in the UK recently. Mud-slinging by various politicians. It's all to do with whether the EU is trying to turn us into a super-state, like Hitler wanted (if anyone is wondering, being on the same side as Hitler is wrong), or if it's actually not that bad after all. Well, sod them. I don't want a referendum about staying in the EU, I want to join the USA and that's the most important topic for global peace!

I mean, who wouldn't want to join the US? Seriously? They have great tax incentives for big pharmaceutical companies. You're free to practice on any human, dead or alive, and then if the government says you can't, sue them! You've got all the money because you haven't had to pay anything in tax.

Then there are the shale gas companies. The UK government is prevented from selling off bits of land for exploration because of the 'nature lovers' and the 'people who care about the environment.' These are the same people who would stand against progression and the betterment of mankind. If we joined the US, not only would the shale companies be able to purchase the land but if the government listened to the wimpy peacenicks, they could sue the government! How great is that?!

On that note, don't get me started on the environment. There are people out there who drive around in hybrid cars because they're more fuel efficient. Nah. If we advocated statehood, we could drive around in amazing off-road machines built to withstand hurricanes through London without having to pay the bloody congestion charge. Also, because you're a registered small business of 20,000 employees or less, you can get tax-free bonuses and incentives to buy more equipment, hire better lawyers and employ the best lobbyists to keep the status quo.

This is what Europe is really afraid about. The UK/US super-state. I mean yes, we would have to face the realisation that some among us would vote Democrat, but then that's the poor and foreign lot so they don't get much of a say anyway. If the government ever had a problem with the rich then we could just sue them!

Who else is for Donald Trump in The White House and Boris Johnson as VP in No. 10?

A Response From An English Gentleman

Dear Prince Mohammed bin Nawaf bin Abdulaziz,

Thank you for your letter dated the 26th October detailing your concerns about the lack of respect the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland has for the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. I would like to take this opportunity to detail some concerns of my own.

In your letter you speak of the alliance that we as nations have had for generations and how strong that alliance has been. Do not take our recent withdrawal of a joint prison training venture as a sign that this alliance is weakening. It is more like we would prefer not to reveal ourselves on the world stage as co-conspirators in barbaric and feudal penal systems. Not just yet anyway.

Also, please do not believe that we have disrespected you in the way that your sheikhs and princes come over here and deliberately flout and disrespect our laws and then claim diplomatic immunity because they have money. We would never dream to have the arrogance to do so. It's an utterly preposterous accusation that you level at us.

Finally, my dear Prince, can I just say a few words that might cause alarm. My sister has a job. My mother has a job. My girlfriend has a job. And, would you believe it, we allow them to drive over here. Now stick that in your pipe and smoke it. You can have my respect when the women in my life and the women of this planet have yours.

Warmest regards and pass on my best to your charming wife, I hope the chain attaching her to your stove isn't aching so much after you gave her that cream,

James

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